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29 February 2012 @ 06:39 pm
I want a time machine.  
I want a time machine. I really do. I want to go back to secondary 1, choose the right friend and enjoy my school life with them. Then, move to this "college" with my friends and just have fun with them. Study with them, graduating with them.


So, second intake for our school began. Classes are all re-shuffled. All the friends I made, none of them are in the same class as me anymore. There's too many students now, it's getting out of hand. 

My new classes? yeah? you wanna hear?

My EAS class. The teacher is alright, i guess. I chose a seat, with two seats left so my friends could sit with me. I was so happy when my friends are in the same class as me. UNTIL, someone sat there. I told them, but then, some still ended up sitting there. so, i'm separated from my friends. The subject itself? It's like half interesting, half scary. I'm afraid I can't follow. really. 

My Biology class. Argh. =/ The teacher, yes, he's good, i guess. He smiles continuously the whole time he talks. Bright white teeth shining out. The students in the class... sigh. maybe i'm just sitting with the wrong group of people. These people, they are hard to talk with. They, don't talk. either, they don't want to or they don't like me. =/ Maybe i would be alright but, maybe because I had experienced a better class, so i'm feeling sad. 
In the first intake, oh the first day of class, it was fun. We had ice breaking games so that we could just, well, be closer to each other. The moment I sat with the group of people, they accepted me. I could feel it. We could talk easily. They were really friendly people. We did our things together, discussed and really learnt something. We even did a project together. Even though it was a randomly picked members of 5 in a group, we got along well and did it. The whole class was nice. It was warm. It was fun. Really fun that I always look forward to it. I liked the teacher too. She was really nice, she would talk to each of us. The class was small with around 19 students. 
This new class, is just cold. Cold as in the feelings. There's no warmth in it. I even felt like crying when I was in the class, halfway through. Stay strong. I gotta stay strong. 

Accounting. Gosh. My friend dropped the subject because of her. BUT, I still got her in the end. How she is? Goshhhh. STRICT. VERY STRICT. "You can never be absent from school." "When I say this that means it's this. No other way" "You don't know accounting then why do you still take it?" She's really just making me want to drop. gotta stay strong. Hopefully, I would get used to her, and well, enjoy accounting. I need a tuition teacher. 

Chemistry. This, is okay. It's Chemistry, my favourite subject. I'm not letting anyone make me hate it. The teacher is okay. She goes fast, but okay. But to be honest, I preferred the teacher in the first intake. That teacher made me love Chemistry even more. I really had fun in her class. Her teaching, made me more interested. Oh well, this teacher is alright I guess. Oh friends? Let's not talk about it. I do have people to talk to. But, yeah. I don't think I could get close to them. It's like there's a border. =/

Maths. Classes hasn't start yet so I don't know. The teacher, I'm not sure if she's good or not. But, I miss my previous teacher. Her class was nice and she was nice. The person I sat next time at that time, is a friend of mine I made, who is really nice. We would talk about anything and everything. 

Conclusion, I want to go back to the past, have all the awesome teachers I like teaching me, and have fun with my friends. That's how school is suppose to be. Having fun learning. I'm not having fun in class. No. 

I really can't be like this. I need to be focused so that I can really study. I can't risk flunking. It's A Level! I need these results to get me to the University my dad wants me to. 
Nothing is going well for me right now. Everything sucks. I get left out because my friend who is supposedly new to the school, has her own friends and sometimes leave me to talk to them. What about me? I made sure you get along with MY friends so that you wouldn't be left out, so that well, our friendship won't end. If you don't care anymore, tell me. I did be glad to join my other friends. 

School sucks, because I get weird teachers that I don't really like. But, I have to like them. School sucks because, none of my classes are the same as people I want my classes to be the same as. I want to be close to smart people. So that we could study together. But no, none of them were in my classes anymore. NONE.

I'm crying in the shower for two days straight. And guess what? Today is just the third day of school. 


With all of these, I get kinda emotional easily. Gosh. I need to stay strong. 

I CAN'T EVEN HAVE AT LEAST ONE SAME CLASS WITH THIS PERSON I'M HAVING A CRUSH ON.
 
 
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